There’s a lot of anxiety that surrounds a new relationship. Are they into you? Are they not? How do you act? You don’t want to come on too strong, right?
Bottom line: there are a lot of mixed signals to decode at the beginning of a relationship, and we’re here to help! Let’s look at a few examples of mixed signals and how to deal with them:
Expecting You to Open up While They Don’t
It takes a lot of vulnerability to open up to someone new – but it’s necessary for getting to know each other! It’s important for both sides to be up front and honest about who they are and what they’re looking for in the relationship. If your new partner doesn’t open up much but expects you to, it could simply mean they aren’t as invested as you are. On the other hand, it could also be a sign of attachment issues.
People with attachment issues are often afraid to fall in love or be emotionally vulnerable because of childhood trauma or abandonment issues. If someone has an avoidant attachment style, it can be tough for them to let their guard down. The best way to address this is to be completely honest about how their actions are making you feel. Attachment issues are often a sort of self-defense mechanism, so bringing this to their attention can help them work on opening up, even if it’s not their nature.
Saying They Want to See You but Are Always Busy
Kind of frustrating, right? We get it – life gets busy. That said, it’s super important to make time for your new love interest, especially during the beginning stages. Remember, actions speak louder than words! If your new partner seems to be on the flaky side when it comes to hanging out and it hurts your feelings, it’s best to be direct about it. An open discussion about each other’s needs and expectations will ensure you’re on the same page about how often you spend time together.
Going From Hot to Cold
You go on a fantastic date and are excited to hear from them again, when a few days later…crickets. What’s the deal? If you felt a date went really well but you aren’t hearing from someone afterward, there could be a few different reasons. Maybe they have a different opinion of the date, they have an aforementioned attachment issue, or they truly are busy! If you’re feeling anxious over it, there’s no harm in reaching out. If they are still MIA, the best thing to do is keep yourself busy – and don’t worry! It’s easier said than done, but this is where a little self-confidence comes into play. You need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else, right? Try not to dwell on someone who seems to go back and forth with their feelings. If you’re not right for each other, it’s okay! Remember – it’s not your fault and it’s not theirs.
Mismatched Sex Drives/Bedroom Miscommunication
Good bedroom communication is so important – especially in the beginning – and a lack of it can create mixed signals. Perhaps your partner is not as into sex as your are, or you’re both unsure of each other’s needs. Mixed signals in this case often originate from poor communication since it can be uncomfortable talking about sex. While it may seem like a daunting subject to broach with a new partner, it’s important to openly discuss your needs in the bedroom so that you both feel supported and fulfilled in the relationship!
Different Levels of PDA
Public displays of affection (PDA) can be tricky to navigate in the beginning of the relationship. If you’re into holding hands and kissing in public but your partner isn’t, it can lead you to believe they’re just not that into you – but that’s not always the case! PDA preferences can come across as mixed signals, but there’s an easy solution: talk about it! If you think your new partner is acting stand offish, it could simply mean they prefer to keep affection private. Be totally honest about where you stand with PDA to avoid issues in your relationship.
Given these examples, it’s important to understand that it is possible to work with someone who is giving you mixed signals. People don’t always give mixed signals on purpose, and it’s not necessarily indicative that your partner is being manipulative or wishy-washy. The bottom line? Harness good communication skills! Talking about your needs is the best way to decode any mixed signals.